So.
Found a copy of Final Fantasy VIII (black label no less) in wonderful condition. The horrific price tag? 12 bucks.
If somebody told me that I would find a PS1 black label Final Fantasy anything for under $20 ten years ago, I would have called them crazy; 15 years ago, I would have added some flavorful language to crazy.
What the hell happened? The JRPG secondhand market is something I used to monitor fairly closely. I stopped doing so about three or four years ago, mostly because I was trying my hand at Warhammer 40,000. After that hobby bubble finally burst, I started paying attention to my vidya again. I noticed that things were a bit cheaper, a bit easier to find. That was good; my budget problems had eased in some respects, but worsened in others, leaving me with being sparing with my disposable income.
But I never expected the bottom just fall out of it like this either. Practically everything I liked and wanted to play was a collector item of one level or another, and required some gymnastics to get in any decent shape. Now it seems that this stuff is growing off trees. I used to have a 'dream list,' and figured that even with a good paying job it would still require a genie get more than a third or so of this stuff.
That list is close to completion now. This isn't a result of my awesome market savvy or leet consumer skills. Its plain dumb luck sometimes, but the kind that starts making you wonder when everybody else stopped caring.
Is it because most of my picks are now two or three generations old? That RPGs have come full-circle to being a niche genre again? Nerds pay real money for nerdy toys, and you can't get much nerdier than that. JRPGs haven't really been big since the PS2, but the genre in general is still pretty damn strong. So what's the deal, really?
Showing posts with label rarity is best pony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rarity is best pony. Show all posts
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Monday, February 1, 2016
A Grand Old Time
Ahhh...
I've been playing serious, near-grimdark RPGs for so damn long now, it's good to get back to basics.
Since the Amalur campaign proved to be a disaster, I bumped up some things in the queue and started playing Grandia. It's unashamed, cheerful adventure. Sure, some bad stuff is going to happen; things will darken, plots will thicken. But it's very refreshing to be back with some fresh-faced JRPG characters, ready to take on the polygonal world.
For the uninitiated, Grandia is an old-school PS1 RPG, from that special era when Eastern-style role-playing goodness was all the rage. You've probably heard it before: When this stuff was new, we had to walk fifteen miles to the Best Buy or Babbage's (or the odd Wal-Mart) in the snow to be able to play good RPGs. No DLC, no patches, no fancy-pants online stuff. Oh, and pony shows sucked back then too (any shows about bears that flashed people to death with happy rays did not exist and certainly weren't surprisingly enjoyable; any rumors to the contrary should be reported to the Ponyquisition for purgation and lulz).
Anyway, its good to be able to play some of the lost gems of the Golden Age of RPGs again. I've made some nerdy life choices, and decided that it was high time that I reassembled my old stash and more. The Harvest never rests, after all, and I needed the break.
Here's to high adventure and spunk and all that!
I've been playing serious, near-grimdark RPGs for so damn long now, it's good to get back to basics.
Since the Amalur campaign proved to be a disaster, I bumped up some things in the queue and started playing Grandia. It's unashamed, cheerful adventure. Sure, some bad stuff is going to happen; things will darken, plots will thicken. But it's very refreshing to be back with some fresh-faced JRPG characters, ready to take on the polygonal world.
For the uninitiated, Grandia is an old-school PS1 RPG, from that special era when Eastern-style role-playing goodness was all the rage. You've probably heard it before: When this stuff was new, we had to walk fifteen miles to the Best Buy or Babbage's (or the odd Wal-Mart) in the snow to be able to play good RPGs. No DLC, no patches, no fancy-pants online stuff. Oh, and pony shows sucked back then too (any shows about bears that flashed people to death with happy rays did not exist and certainly weren't surprisingly enjoyable; any rumors to the contrary should be reported to the Ponyquisition for purgation and lulz).
Anyway, its good to be able to play some of the lost gems of the Golden Age of RPGs again. I've made some nerdy life choices, and decided that it was high time that I reassembled my old stash and more. The Harvest never rests, after all, and I needed the break.
Here's to high adventure and spunk and all that!
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Horrible Game Idea Revisited
I submit to the spambots that I have proof that I am actually quite deranged.
I had to put the controller down since I got all in a wad over Vesperia again; damn sidequests. Managed to seme more productive things, but still was way too overstimulated to do much that was coherent.
On the 'good' side of things, it gave me an excuse to trot out a couple of old horrible ideas living in my mind. One favorite is my idea for Backcraft, an incredibly wonko RTS that mosty dealt with middle schoolers tearing about and conquering stuff with Nerf guns and Super Soakers and suchlike.
It actually got quite intricate. I worked out a rock-paper-scissors thing with foam darts, water, and melee (most wiffle bats and plastic lightsabers and such). I forgot which was which, but I think water mostly won since it had intuitive area-of-effect and sustained damage-per-second properties. See? I can't even think about middle-school hijinx without going stupid technical and kinda muchkin-ly. I have fallen to the dork side, save yourself!
There was also stuff like research trees disguised as hitting up parents for stuff like bike helmets and sports equipment. Tossing in factions that boiled down to three basic concepts. "Good kids" that tried (and failed) to be all chivalrous, getting easier access to bikes and scooters, with signature "Fine Cardboardium Armor" that 'vehicles' and buildings could use as something equivalent to regenerating shields. "Bad kids" that basically were what would happen if you'd wind up with a Mad Max/Recess crossover; their perks were things like beating up neutrals for 'lunch money' giving resource boosts, and getting 'wet' weapons to deal extra damage (soaking an old Nerf football usually results in pain). The final bunch were "Big Brothers," that were mostly basement-dwellers that decided the kiddies LARP needed work. I couldn't decide if they were going to be a playable faction, special summons/mercenaries that wrecked enemies for high cash costs, or a "boss" faction that the kids needed to ultimately unite to take down and cast back into the firey chatrooms from whence they came.
Buildings were mostly fixed playground equipment, with some ideas like the HQ being a(n eventually) badass treehouse, and you got things on the research tree by taking and holding locations. You had indoor 'dungeon of doom' scenarios that were waged in schools (increasing in complexity, resources, and lulz potential from preschools to high schools) that would likely devolve into an unholy union of Dungeon Defender and Dwarf Fortress. Big rec areas for the huge brawls, and special scenarios like both sides storming a disc golf course, having to both fight each other and dodge frisbee-chucking nutballs to capture a monument that happened to be a deactivated tank! Stealth combat raids that mostly relied on precision and minimal casualties, since if some sissy starts screaming bloody murder then everybody gets hauled inside and grounded for sneaking out of bed!
One final part of the concept was a combination bonus boss and unlockable unit, "That Nerdy Guy." As you went through the campaign, That Nerdy Guy ran an upgrade shop, and if you brought him, well, lots of nerdy things, you could use him as a one-shot super unit (with a restriction that sort of fluctuated between iterations), and engaging in an appropriately nerdy and tedious fetch-quest, you got an extra side mission where you have to take him down as a superboss, with victory putting him permanently on the roster. He had a deliberately ludicrous backstory that the Big Brothers had hailed him as a great hero, then forgot about him when they were all kids, now all he does is video games, act emo, and contribute to the delinquency of minors.
Can you tell that sometimes I just get really bored?
I had to put the controller down since I got all in a wad over Vesperia again; damn sidequests. Managed to seme more productive things, but still was way too overstimulated to do much that was coherent.
On the 'good' side of things, it gave me an excuse to trot out a couple of old horrible ideas living in my mind. One favorite is my idea for Backcraft, an incredibly wonko RTS that mosty dealt with middle schoolers tearing about and conquering stuff with Nerf guns and Super Soakers and suchlike.
It actually got quite intricate. I worked out a rock-paper-scissors thing with foam darts, water, and melee (most wiffle bats and plastic lightsabers and such). I forgot which was which, but I think water mostly won since it had intuitive area-of-effect and sustained damage-per-second properties. See? I can't even think about middle-school hijinx without going stupid technical and kinda muchkin-ly. I have fallen to the dork side, save yourself!
There was also stuff like research trees disguised as hitting up parents for stuff like bike helmets and sports equipment. Tossing in factions that boiled down to three basic concepts. "Good kids" that tried (and failed) to be all chivalrous, getting easier access to bikes and scooters, with signature "Fine Cardboardium Armor" that 'vehicles' and buildings could use as something equivalent to regenerating shields. "Bad kids" that basically were what would happen if you'd wind up with a Mad Max/Recess crossover; their perks were things like beating up neutrals for 'lunch money' giving resource boosts, and getting 'wet' weapons to deal extra damage (soaking an old Nerf football usually results in pain). The final bunch were "Big Brothers," that were mostly basement-dwellers that decided the kiddies LARP needed work. I couldn't decide if they were going to be a playable faction, special summons/mercenaries that wrecked enemies for high cash costs, or a "boss" faction that the kids needed to ultimately unite to take down and cast back into the firey chatrooms from whence they came.
Buildings were mostly fixed playground equipment, with some ideas like the HQ being a(n eventually) badass treehouse, and you got things on the research tree by taking and holding locations. You had indoor 'dungeon of doom' scenarios that were waged in schools (increasing in complexity, resources, and lulz potential from preschools to high schools) that would likely devolve into an unholy union of Dungeon Defender and Dwarf Fortress. Big rec areas for the huge brawls, and special scenarios like both sides storming a disc golf course, having to both fight each other and dodge frisbee-chucking nutballs to capture a monument that happened to be a deactivated tank! Stealth combat raids that mostly relied on precision and minimal casualties, since if some sissy starts screaming bloody murder then everybody gets hauled inside and grounded for sneaking out of bed!
One final part of the concept was a combination bonus boss and unlockable unit, "That Nerdy Guy." As you went through the campaign, That Nerdy Guy ran an upgrade shop, and if you brought him, well, lots of nerdy things, you could use him as a one-shot super unit (with a restriction that sort of fluctuated between iterations), and engaging in an appropriately nerdy and tedious fetch-quest, you got an extra side mission where you have to take him down as a superboss, with victory putting him permanently on the roster. He had a deliberately ludicrous backstory that the Big Brothers had hailed him as a great hero, then forgot about him when they were all kids, now all he does is video games, act emo, and contribute to the delinquency of minors.
Can you tell that sometimes I just get really bored?
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
We All Know Mooks Go Whirr In The Blender
Hail the spambots yet again!
Been busy unleashing the doom upon the malevolently idiotic in Tales of Vesperia again. I have to say, being able to smack things can be quite conducive to work life.
The looting is still awesome, and actually is quietly getting even better as time goes on. Things are still very farming friendly, which means Yuri is the farmer riding the agri-combine of death, turning the world's conviently renewable supply of monsters into materials for an almost insane amount of goodies. I know I've been fanboying over this a lot, but having such a wide variety of bitz to nab and actually make things to grab more bitz with is a very big draw for me. I'm a fairly craft-centric player when it comes to my games, and when its done right it can be very refreshing.
Vesperia's combat system is very much an enjoyable experience, even a klutz like me can produce some truly amazing feats of mook-mashing and burnination. Everything is actually a joy to look at, including the various mooks and monsters. It's about as close as it gets to tearing about in an anime (excluding Ni No Kuni) as you can get on a console. Everything is actually very characterful without becoming hyper-stylized.
The monsters, as mentioned, are something to look at. While Tales has always had some interesting variations on the monsters, this bunch actually has some nifty things running around. You got killer dodos with hatchet beaks, spider-cactus things, spider-mecha gun platforms, elemental bats, giant armadillo turtle things with racing stripes, mermen that are pretty weresharks that come at you with sharpened anchors and have werenarwhal shamans. The human enemies are kinda nice too, with some interesting behaviors like standing at attention in the middle of battle, and giving the knight's magic-users light-based spells. You're fighting friggin evil paladins, and its badass.
Well, I'm finally into the final third of the game, and should be wrapping up soon. We'll see where all this craziness lead us!
Been busy unleashing the doom upon the malevolently idiotic in Tales of Vesperia again. I have to say, being able to smack things can be quite conducive to work life.
The looting is still awesome, and actually is quietly getting even better as time goes on. Things are still very farming friendly, which means Yuri is the farmer riding the agri-combine of death, turning the world's conviently renewable supply of monsters into materials for an almost insane amount of goodies. I know I've been fanboying over this a lot, but having such a wide variety of bitz to nab and actually make things to grab more bitz with is a very big draw for me. I'm a fairly craft-centric player when it comes to my games, and when its done right it can be very refreshing.
Vesperia's combat system is very much an enjoyable experience, even a klutz like me can produce some truly amazing feats of mook-mashing and burnination. Everything is actually a joy to look at, including the various mooks and monsters. It's about as close as it gets to tearing about in an anime (excluding Ni No Kuni) as you can get on a console. Everything is actually very characterful without becoming hyper-stylized.
The monsters, as mentioned, are something to look at. While Tales has always had some interesting variations on the monsters, this bunch actually has some nifty things running around. You got killer dodos with hatchet beaks, spider-cactus things, spider-mecha gun platforms, elemental bats, giant armadillo turtle things with racing stripes, mermen that are pretty weresharks that come at you with sharpened anchors and have werenarwhal shamans. The human enemies are kinda nice too, with some interesting behaviors like standing at attention in the middle of battle, and giving the knight's magic-users light-based spells. You're fighting friggin evil paladins, and its badass.
Well, I'm finally into the final third of the game, and should be wrapping up soon. We'll see where all this craziness lead us!
Friday, September 4, 2015
A Legendary Tale
The Interwebs are not rid of me yet, haHA!
It's been a wild ride in my personal life, but that IRL for you, eh?
In nerdy news, I managed to put Tales of Legendia on my kill list, adding another notch on the RPG belt. That was definitely a fun time. Four Stars, Would Smite Again. Hell, the ending (the actual ending, not the first one) actually got me all teary-eyed. It's been something like a decade since a game did that to me.
The combat was fun, giving me all the awesomeness of a 2D fighter while letting stats and tactics get a good role as opposed to just reflexes and fighting game skills (I suck at fighting games that aren't Soul Calibur 3), and was just fluid enough to keep me going. The story has some good twists, the characters were actually memorable (all hail Will Reynard the JRPG Muscle Wizard), the loot was plentiful, and the enemies were a hoot.
Unfortunately, the New Game Plus this game offered really didn't do much for immediate replay value, though I freely grant that later on it will be a fine catalyst for going back and thug-punching bears while Will The Awesome fries them with lightning and honking big hammer.
I was actually pleased that I found a new RPG series without having to sacrifice organs on the black market to get installments (dammit Suikoden) or live with playing less than half the series ever without controller flinging (dammit SaGa).
On a final note, there will not be a Wreckonomics post about Tales of Legendia. The cash is very plentiful, with the only notable sinks linked to the cooking system. The only real barrier is that you can only carry 15 of any given item (NG+ has options for 20 or 30 if you so choose), which is a mild inconvenience if you're like me and grab a wad of curatives when you can. I wound up having to leave full chests behind in dungeons since I had the maximum amount of Panacea Bottles very quickly, and rarely needed them to begin with.
Anyway, off to Tale of the Abyss!
It's been a wild ride in my personal life, but that IRL for you, eh?
In nerdy news, I managed to put Tales of Legendia on my kill list, adding another notch on the RPG belt. That was definitely a fun time. Four Stars, Would Smite Again. Hell, the ending (the actual ending, not the first one) actually got me all teary-eyed. It's been something like a decade since a game did that to me.
The combat was fun, giving me all the awesomeness of a 2D fighter while letting stats and tactics get a good role as opposed to just reflexes and fighting game skills (I suck at fighting games that aren't Soul Calibur 3), and was just fluid enough to keep me going. The story has some good twists, the characters were actually memorable (all hail Will Reynard the JRPG Muscle Wizard), the loot was plentiful, and the enemies were a hoot.
Unfortunately, the New Game Plus this game offered really didn't do much for immediate replay value, though I freely grant that later on it will be a fine catalyst for going back and thug-punching bears while Will The Awesome fries them with lightning and honking big hammer.
I was actually pleased that I found a new RPG series without having to sacrifice organs on the black market to get installments (dammit Suikoden) or live with playing less than half the series ever without controller flinging (dammit SaGa).
On a final note, there will not be a Wreckonomics post about Tales of Legendia. The cash is very plentiful, with the only notable sinks linked to the cooking system. The only real barrier is that you can only carry 15 of any given item (NG+ has options for 20 or 30 if you so choose), which is a mild inconvenience if you're like me and grab a wad of curatives when you can. I wound up having to leave full chests behind in dungeons since I had the maximum amount of Panacea Bottles very quickly, and rarely needed them to begin with.
Anyway, off to Tale of the Abyss!
Friday, July 10, 2015
Stabbin' Dragons
Been busy at the job business. I'm surrounded by the biggest collection of complexes this side of the internet, I swear.
I've taken advantage of losing my Xbox Live Gold (or rather, they lost my money because it didn't taste right or something) and wailing on the bonus boss in Dragon's Dogma. The critter in question is known as the Ur-Dragon, so named because most players go "UUUURRR," and then "splat!" the first time they come across it. The online version is technically harder, but the only real difference is that it has a ridiculous hit-point pool, and multiple players are wailing on it at any given time. Unfortunately, being the guy who makes the kill is pretty much a crapshoot. You can literally pick and play any strategy game by NIS long enough to beat their bonus bosses, and still have not gotten a kill on this beast in an equivalent amount of time. Play the offline version of the boss to get the achievement, okay?
In any case this game is still very much one of my favorites, and I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to pick up and play again. Definitely a point in its favor, and I hope we see a true sequel, not some bizarro MMO like the interwebs claim.
I've also heard some news that is already ancient now: They're finally going to remake Final Fantasy VII. I'm cautiously excited. FFVII holds a special nerdy place in my nerdy heart (I actually owned the game before I bought a PS1, which is saying a lot) and I hope things actually go well. Unfortunately, my auto-snark button got pushed when I head the words "gritty reboot." Lolwut?
I thought up some ways to make this more "gritty." Here's a random collection, in no particular order:
1) Cait Sith is shanked and replaced by Belkar Bitterleaf.
2) Cloud is voiced by Hugo Weaving.
3) An option for a Mortal Kombat-like blood effect. Imagine Omnislash now with patent pending 3-D Gore-O-Rama!
4) Barret stops talking like Mr. T and acts like (dammit I forgot his name) that black guy from Expendables.
5) Trenchcoats. Public flashing optional.
6) New Game+ option to have Sephiroth shank other characters including, but not limited to: Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Sora, Squall, Face McShooty, Wesley Crusher, Chris Pine!Kirk, and Jar Jar Binks. Also the cast of FFXIII.
7) Fuck it, give everybody guns!
That's about it, really. I also really hope they fix the damn Chocobo racing, though. Preferably with the old shoulder-button cheat still intact.
I've taken advantage of losing my Xbox Live Gold (or rather, they lost my money because it didn't taste right or something) and wailing on the bonus boss in Dragon's Dogma. The critter in question is known as the Ur-Dragon, so named because most players go "UUUURRR," and then "splat!" the first time they come across it. The online version is technically harder, but the only real difference is that it has a ridiculous hit-point pool, and multiple players are wailing on it at any given time. Unfortunately, being the guy who makes the kill is pretty much a crapshoot. You can literally pick and play any strategy game by NIS long enough to beat their bonus bosses, and still have not gotten a kill on this beast in an equivalent amount of time. Play the offline version of the boss to get the achievement, okay?
In any case this game is still very much one of my favorites, and I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to pick up and play again. Definitely a point in its favor, and I hope we see a true sequel, not some bizarro MMO like the interwebs claim.
I've also heard some news that is already ancient now: They're finally going to remake Final Fantasy VII. I'm cautiously excited. FFVII holds a special nerdy place in my nerdy heart (I actually owned the game before I bought a PS1, which is saying a lot) and I hope things actually go well. Unfortunately, my auto-snark button got pushed when I head the words "gritty reboot." Lolwut?
I thought up some ways to make this more "gritty." Here's a random collection, in no particular order:
1) Cait Sith is shanked and replaced by Belkar Bitterleaf.
2) Cloud is voiced by Hugo Weaving.
3) An option for a Mortal Kombat-like blood effect. Imagine Omnislash now with patent pending 3-D Gore-O-Rama!
4) Barret stops talking like Mr. T and acts like (dammit I forgot his name) that black guy from Expendables.
5) Trenchcoats. Public flashing optional.
6) New Game+ option to have Sephiroth shank other characters including, but not limited to: Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Sora, Squall, Face McShooty, Wesley Crusher, Chris Pine!Kirk, and Jar Jar Binks. Also the cast of FFXIII.
7) Fuck it, give everybody guns!
That's about it, really. I also really hope they fix the damn Chocobo racing, though. Preferably with the old shoulder-button cheat still intact.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Congratulations, EA
You have achieved a new status today, "The Shin-Ra of Gaming." Forcing me to sit there and do nothing but wait for and installs and updates on a fucking console game (from the damn disc) for two hours is a new one. I avoid PC games because of crap like that, thanks very much. May white-haired bishies with Oedipal Complexes figure BIG in your future.
Still better than Disney, AKA "The Hyperion of Entertainment." I keep waiting for them to buy the moon and go full crazy tyrant on us.
By the way, a Shin-Ra/Hyperion merger would be terrifying and crazy damn awesome.
Still better than Disney, AKA "The Hyperion of Entertainment." I keep waiting for them to buy the moon and go full crazy tyrant on us.
By the way, a Shin-Ra/Hyperion merger would be terrifying and crazy damn awesome.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Rated E For Elf Stabbing
Blarg to the spambots!
Got my hands on Stick of Truth on the cheap. I'm not all that much of a South Park fan in general; didn't watch the show very much, but I did watch the movie a lot back in the day. I still think that cover of "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" on the CD is the shiznit. Screw "Let It Go." Anyway, this game is a hoot and a half, with the wonderful bonus of being a great entry-level RPG.
Two thirds of the game is devoted to fighting the elves (arguably just one, but whatever), and while its quite fun, I'm wondering where the hell all this hatred for pointy ears came from. I'm probably wrong, but this seems to be a relatively recent phenomenon. Nobody in my little nerdy circle of friends hated elves like this back in the day. I understand hatred of elf factions like The Elder Scrolls' Thalmor bunch (fuck those guys with a chainsaw) or pretty much every Wood Elf faction ever after Tolkien (which are either grimdark, cannibals, or grimdark cannibals). Those guys are like a Fifty Shades of Gray/Cupcakes/Captain Planet crossover. Yes, I know exactly what I said there.
However, even fairly decent portrayals of elves are pretty much fire magnets these days. What the hell happened? Personally, I blame Orlando Bloom.
Got my hands on Stick of Truth on the cheap. I'm not all that much of a South Park fan in general; didn't watch the show very much, but I did watch the movie a lot back in the day. I still think that cover of "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" on the CD is the shiznit. Screw "Let It Go." Anyway, this game is a hoot and a half, with the wonderful bonus of being a great entry-level RPG.
Two thirds of the game is devoted to fighting the elves (arguably just one, but whatever), and while its quite fun, I'm wondering where the hell all this hatred for pointy ears came from. I'm probably wrong, but this seems to be a relatively recent phenomenon. Nobody in my little nerdy circle of friends hated elves like this back in the day. I understand hatred of elf factions like The Elder Scrolls' Thalmor bunch (fuck those guys with a chainsaw) or pretty much every Wood Elf faction ever after Tolkien (which are either grimdark, cannibals, or grimdark cannibals). Those guys are like a Fifty Shades of Gray/Cupcakes/Captain Planet crossover. Yes, I know exactly what I said there.
However, even fairly decent portrayals of elves are pretty much fire magnets these days. What the hell happened? Personally, I blame Orlando Bloom.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Brain Barf
Blarg and hail to the spambots! Thanks for letting me pretend this shit gets attention.
Things are ok. Most of my IRL friends have gone into hermitage; don't even want to play video games. I wish I could blow money on game service I don't use like that.
Somebody brought boxes of red velvet doughnuts to work last week. o.O Damn things were...suggestive. Think actual raw-flesh-colored doughnuts. And yes, some came with frosting.
Damn I actually typed that last sentence.
Did not eat the damn things, though.
Also been tearing my way through Final Fantasy V. The bad guy is a tree (!) and the good guys are freaking morons. The plot feels like somebody decided to stick a Power Rangers plot into Final Fantasy. I love every minute of it anyway. I don't think I've ever run into anything else where characters commute via frickin' meteors! Maybe the Tunguska Event was really some dumbass from Mars taking a wrong turn trying to get to Europa. Same thing with what killed the dinosaurs.
Well damn, We just made stupidity into something incredibly badass. It's like the opposite of a Uwe Boll flick.
Things are ok. Most of my IRL friends have gone into hermitage; don't even want to play video games. I wish I could blow money on game service I don't use like that.
Somebody brought boxes of red velvet doughnuts to work last week. o.O Damn things were...suggestive. Think actual raw-flesh-colored doughnuts. And yes, some came with frosting.
Damn I actually typed that last sentence.
Did not eat the damn things, though.
Also been tearing my way through Final Fantasy V. The bad guy is a tree (!) and the good guys are freaking morons. The plot feels like somebody decided to stick a Power Rangers plot into Final Fantasy. I love every minute of it anyway. I don't think I've ever run into anything else where characters commute via frickin' meteors! Maybe the Tunguska Event was really some dumbass from Mars taking a wrong turn trying to get to Europa. Same thing with what killed the dinosaurs.
Well damn, We just made stupidity into something incredibly badass. It's like the opposite of a Uwe Boll flick.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Attack of The War Plushies
Blarg!
It's been a rough (but not horrible) few days. I should finally be over the hump soon, at least.
Been tearing about in various games, with an emphasis on Diablo III and Final Fantasy V.
A highlight of current Diablo escapades was dealing with a huge mob of teddy bears that had the Molten and Mortar traits. It was fairly fun. actually, like letting the Small Soldiers from back in the day arm a pack of Beanie Babies. They're still not as scary as old-school Care Bears, though. Those crazies tore about and flashed people to death with weaponized good feelings and stuff. Taste the Rainbow, motherfucker!
Nor are they as hardcore as modern ponies.
>>
<<
I admit nothing.
Also, a bit more RPG = WTF in my life. Spoilers: The Big Bad in FFV is a scary Vader wanna be that's actually a damn tree. The Dwarves were right, the trees want to kill us all. Time to break out the flannels and chainsaws.
Screw modern JRPG bishie bullshit, Old Wan Willow as a Sith Lord is just damn awesome.
It's been a rough (but not horrible) few days. I should finally be over the hump soon, at least.
Been tearing about in various games, with an emphasis on Diablo III and Final Fantasy V.
A highlight of current Diablo escapades was dealing with a huge mob of teddy bears that had the Molten and Mortar traits. It was fairly fun. actually, like letting the Small Soldiers from back in the day arm a pack of Beanie Babies. They're still not as scary as old-school Care Bears, though. Those crazies tore about and flashed people to death with weaponized good feelings and stuff. Taste the Rainbow, motherfucker!
Nor are they as hardcore as modern ponies.
>>
<<
I admit nothing.
Also, a bit more RPG = WTF in my life. Spoilers: The Big Bad in FFV is a scary Vader wanna be that's actually a damn tree. The Dwarves were right, the trees want to kill us all. Time to break out the flannels and chainsaws.
Screw modern JRPG bishie bullshit, Old Wan Willow as a Sith Lord is just damn awesome.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Beware, I Live!
Gwahaha! You spambots thought you were rid of me! >:D
Been busy with the holiday drama at work. The customers have been decidedly more pleasant this time around, even accounting for the fact that I don't get to play with a chainsaw and slaughter trees in public. There are a few idiots in the bunch. Note to our customers: We are not Amazon, we are not Overstock dot com. There are things on the website that we do not have in physical stores. Spew your petulance at management; that's what they're paid for.
Been avoiding the XBox, mostly since I don't feel like being all social right now between shifts. No offence to my online buddies. You don't deserve work-induced vitriol, and all I really want to do is smash evil and set fire to their fortress. This phase will pass. The clarion call of trundling death has finally breached the miasma of meh I have going right now.
It got me thinking. I've done a good deal more smashing this year, and I want to share my thoughts. I believe that I've played more hours overall in the past two years than most of my post-teen life, as well as the most varied overall games.
Borderlands 2. Get off my plane and everybody gets a bullet. Honestly, shooters have never really enticed me until this came along. My brother loves the first two Medal of Honor games, and I have good memories of Battlefront 2 and Goldeneye from back in the day. But this monster lured me into something I never expected: pouring ridiculous amount of time and energy into lobbing almost enough dakka against advancing hordes of random sociopaths. The loot and leveling systems actually made me look forward to mashing right trigger and pwning bastitches like a boss. WE LOVE YOU MARCUS!
Star Ocean: The Last Hope. Dammit, Square Enix actually did it to me again. I think I an in the tiny minority that actually likes this damn game. The protagonist is the biggest whiny bitch this side of Advent Children Cloud for a good part of the game. The battles are badly unbalanced in one way or another. The soundtrack su-huh-ucks! But it's just plain fun somehow. Welcome to a JRPG where a paladin archetype doesn't suck mechanically. Welcome to a place where you can hang out with the anime cliche/fetish of your choice, and it works. Welcome to Bacchus D-79, a space elf Robocop that can summon killsats, mecha, and frickin BLACK HOLES. No Welcome to Sarah, though. You deserve to be left in ignominy forever, the only escape from which involves a vore furry dressed up like Bubsy.
Skyrim. Holy shit is this awesome. Tearing about being Nordic on my undead horse that is surprisingly nice and well-behaved. Killing random moronsand stripping their corpses bare as a warning to other tards. Going through dank dungeons toight undead viking wizards with Jedi powers! The only fit music for those fights is produced by Manowar, Setting the undead viking ninja wizards on fire with a sun-powered sword of +1138 Undead Ignition known as Dawnbreaker. Punching angry grizzly bears to death like a boss. Smashing dragons is fun, but somebody else did it better. I put this game down for the next two, but I will come back eventually, to snag the the +9001 Bow of Summoning Anti-Undead Killsats and kill a Dracula Wannabe.
World of Tanks. Wow, a freemium game I like and want to play. Tearing about in a WWII tank, making other tanks miserable, and building a stable of vehicles that would make the Top Gear guys go crazy (well, crazier). Showing people that Hetzers gonna Hetz, and that ramming stuff with a Stuart makes for hilarity. I've thrown way too much money at this thing, plus it;s a online game that makes me actually want to play with strangers. CoD can join Sarah.
Diablo 3. I. Don't. CARE. What other people say. This shit's awesomesauce. Another genre entry-drug for me. I've now discovered hack-and-slash RPG goodness, and it is beautiful. Whether it's smashing faces with a barbarian, going ninja crazytown with a monk, or bringing the dakka with a demon hunter, it just doesn't get old in Vanilla. Then frickin Reaper of Souls came, with more mooks to smash, an angel with a frickin Holy Avenger Rocket Launcher with a altfire Keen Vorpal Flamethower, and the Crusader. Holy crap. My build for this guy involves hammers. Lots of hammers. Enough hammers to run a thousand hardware stores. Oh, and the Crusader/Templar bromance is funny as hell and strangely endearing. Let's Smite Something Together.
Well, I need to go, I'm getting incoherent.
Been busy with the holiday drama at work. The customers have been decidedly more pleasant this time around, even accounting for the fact that I don't get to play with a chainsaw and slaughter trees in public. There are a few idiots in the bunch. Note to our customers: We are not Amazon, we are not Overstock dot com. There are things on the website that we do not have in physical stores. Spew your petulance at management; that's what they're paid for.
Been avoiding the XBox, mostly since I don't feel like being all social right now between shifts. No offence to my online buddies. You don't deserve work-induced vitriol, and all I really want to do is smash evil and set fire to their fortress. This phase will pass. The clarion call of trundling death has finally breached the miasma of meh I have going right now.
It got me thinking. I've done a good deal more smashing this year, and I want to share my thoughts. I believe that I've played more hours overall in the past two years than most of my post-teen life, as well as the most varied overall games.
Borderlands 2. Get off my plane and everybody gets a bullet. Honestly, shooters have never really enticed me until this came along. My brother loves the first two Medal of Honor games, and I have good memories of Battlefront 2 and Goldeneye from back in the day. But this monster lured me into something I never expected: pouring ridiculous amount of time and energy into lobbing almost enough dakka against advancing hordes of random sociopaths. The loot and leveling systems actually made me look forward to mashing right trigger and pwning bastitches like a boss. WE LOVE YOU MARCUS!
Star Ocean: The Last Hope. Dammit, Square Enix actually did it to me again. I think I an in the tiny minority that actually likes this damn game. The protagonist is the biggest whiny bitch this side of Advent Children Cloud for a good part of the game. The battles are badly unbalanced in one way or another. The soundtrack su-huh-ucks! But it's just plain fun somehow. Welcome to a JRPG where a paladin archetype doesn't suck mechanically. Welcome to a place where you can hang out with the anime cliche/fetish of your choice, and it works. Welcome to Bacchus D-79, a space elf Robocop that can summon killsats, mecha, and frickin BLACK HOLES. No Welcome to Sarah, though. You deserve to be left in ignominy forever, the only escape from which involves a vore furry dressed up like Bubsy.
Skyrim. Holy shit is this awesome. Tearing about being Nordic on my undead horse that is surprisingly nice and well-behaved. Killing random moronsand stripping their corpses bare as a warning to other tards. Going through dank dungeons toight undead viking wizards with Jedi powers! The only fit music for those fights is produced by Manowar, Setting the undead viking ninja wizards on fire with a sun-powered sword of +1138 Undead Ignition known as Dawnbreaker. Punching angry grizzly bears to death like a boss. Smashing dragons is fun, but somebody else did it better. I put this game down for the next two, but I will come back eventually, to snag the the +9001 Bow of Summoning Anti-Undead Killsats and kill a Dracula Wannabe.
World of Tanks. Wow, a freemium game I like and want to play. Tearing about in a WWII tank, making other tanks miserable, and building a stable of vehicles that would make the Top Gear guys go crazy (well, crazier). Showing people that Hetzers gonna Hetz, and that ramming stuff with a Stuart makes for hilarity. I've thrown way too much money at this thing, plus it;s a online game that makes me actually want to play with strangers. CoD can join Sarah.
Diablo 3. I. Don't. CARE. What other people say. This shit's awesomesauce. Another genre entry-drug for me. I've now discovered hack-and-slash RPG goodness, and it is beautiful. Whether it's smashing faces with a barbarian, going ninja crazytown with a monk, or bringing the dakka with a demon hunter, it just doesn't get old in Vanilla. Then frickin Reaper of Souls came, with more mooks to smash, an angel with a frickin Holy Avenger Rocket Launcher with a altfire Keen Vorpal Flamethower, and the Crusader. Holy crap. My build for this guy involves hammers. Lots of hammers. Enough hammers to run a thousand hardware stores. Oh, and the Crusader/Templar bromance is funny as hell and strangely endearing. Let's Smite Something Together.
Well, I need to go, I'm getting incoherent.
Friday, November 7, 2014
Task Force Aflac
Blarg and Hail to the Spambots that "read" my yammerings.
The French tank line for World of Tanks is now out. The consensus that they look so much like ducks that Wargaming really should hire Gilbert Godfrey to do the voice messages. Prick or not, it really fits.
I've decided that I do like the new Ops system they got going, however. Getting little goodies for actually playing the game helps keeps things fresh. MOAR BITZ PLZ!
I've also been tearing about, working on some kooky concepts. Some of the highlights include catapults that lob rocket powered grizzy bears at things I don't like, and a old wonko idea my old boss had, basically a home improvement store run by barbarians. Crazy shit like orientation for new hires is that death mill scene from the first Conan movie, forklifts are powered by Brahma bulls. Maybe some other stuff like instead of the usual DYI demos, you get things like the plumbing people showing the best way to kill stuff with an iron pipe, the lumber guys showing how to make an instant wood fort of doom, and hardware uses drills as trophy pikes. Watch them heads spin! Oh and instead of being tossed out, problem customers are ritually flung into a pit filled with angry Pomeranians. Very slow, fuzzy, and yappy demise.
Yeah, I need to go away for now.
The French tank line for World of Tanks is now out. The consensus that they look so much like ducks that Wargaming really should hire Gilbert Godfrey to do the voice messages. Prick or not, it really fits.
I've decided that I do like the new Ops system they got going, however. Getting little goodies for actually playing the game helps keeps things fresh. MOAR BITZ PLZ!
I've also been tearing about, working on some kooky concepts. Some of the highlights include catapults that lob rocket powered grizzy bears at things I don't like, and a old wonko idea my old boss had, basically a home improvement store run by barbarians. Crazy shit like orientation for new hires is that death mill scene from the first Conan movie, forklifts are powered by Brahma bulls. Maybe some other stuff like instead of the usual DYI demos, you get things like the plumbing people showing the best way to kill stuff with an iron pipe, the lumber guys showing how to make an instant wood fort of doom, and hardware uses drills as trophy pikes. Watch them heads spin! Oh and instead of being tossed out, problem customers are ritually flung into a pit filled with angry Pomeranians. Very slow, fuzzy, and yappy demise.
Yeah, I need to go away for now.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Brain Barf: RPG = WTF
Grargalarg to the spambots.
Been tearing about in various games, mostly that Rim Sky thing.
Starting thinking about things and came up with something I doubt is original, but wanted to say anyway: RPG backgrounds are frickin' weird.
Do not get me wrong; I'm pretty hardcore in my addiction to the vidya game monster mashing and looting. It's just that, well, I've also been doing this for-frickin'-ever.
Take the Elder Scrolls games. The least bizarre thing is that the local furries are all crack heads. Its so pervasive I'm amazed "WillYiff4Skooma" isn't a meme. Maybe I should fix that.
Those moons? The corpse of a god. By the way, from what I gather about the lore, there's a third black moon out there. Totally not a Dragonlance reference. Also when the three are aligned properly, its extremely significant to the cat-folk. That's the plot of a whole damn Dragonlance book, damn it.
And these are tame compared to some of the other crap in there. Celtic Zulu with plant hearts. A god whose background reads like what would happen if the Kama Sutra became a religious text. Artificial gods made from mech-sized golems that break time over their knees.
Like, damn man.
It got me thinking. Other RPGs are usually no slouches in the bizarre department either.
Take Chrono Cross. We start with the primary (but largely ignored and all but unexplained) antagonist being a fusion of a giant space termite thing and a princess. It manages to manipulate all of space and time within the game world, creating two primary antagonist factions. The first is a supercomputer and it minions from the future, set adrift in the past and watching over the descendants of their creators, using what amounts to hypnotherapy and eugenics to get its way. The second, somewhat nastier bunch, is a city of dinosaur-descended reptile folk ripped from an alternate universe by the planet itself as a counter. Highlights include these elemental golem...doll...things, and a biocomputer that is an embodiment of all the local magical elements and happens to be a dragon with some sort of jewel laser mouth cannon. Oh, and after an apocalyptic battle with the first bunch, the biocomputer was fractured into seven dragon gods; three in one universe, three in another, and the seventh set adrift to screw around with main characters.
All this nuttiness is compounded by nobody bothering to explain this crap until the two final dungeons of the game! This was right when Square was in the middle of there hipster-esque "minimal explanation means maximum profundity" phase.
This is only two examples out of the many, many RPGs out there.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not some dullard that only goes for smash-and-grab, screw-the-plot antics. I love having complex stories and interesting backgrounds. There's a reason I own stuff like Tactics Ogre, Atelier Iris 1-3 (not at straightforward as they seem, trust me), multiple SaGa games, and so on and so on. But sometimes, I really don't get why game writers seem to come up with stuff that requires enough hits to buzz a Grateful Dead concert to actually figure out.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find something uncomplicated to do for a while.
Been tearing about in various games, mostly that Rim Sky thing.
Starting thinking about things and came up with something I doubt is original, but wanted to say anyway: RPG backgrounds are frickin' weird.
Do not get me wrong; I'm pretty hardcore in my addiction to the vidya game monster mashing and looting. It's just that, well, I've also been doing this for-frickin'-ever.
Take the Elder Scrolls games. The least bizarre thing is that the local furries are all crack heads. Its so pervasive I'm amazed "WillYiff4Skooma" isn't a meme. Maybe I should fix that.
Those moons? The corpse of a god. By the way, from what I gather about the lore, there's a third black moon out there. Totally not a Dragonlance reference. Also when the three are aligned properly, its extremely significant to the cat-folk. That's the plot of a whole damn Dragonlance book, damn it.
And these are tame compared to some of the other crap in there. Celtic Zulu with plant hearts. A god whose background reads like what would happen if the Kama Sutra became a religious text. Artificial gods made from mech-sized golems that break time over their knees.
Like, damn man.
It got me thinking. Other RPGs are usually no slouches in the bizarre department either.
Take Chrono Cross. We start with the primary (but largely ignored and all but unexplained) antagonist being a fusion of a giant space termite thing and a princess. It manages to manipulate all of space and time within the game world, creating two primary antagonist factions. The first is a supercomputer and it minions from the future, set adrift in the past and watching over the descendants of their creators, using what amounts to hypnotherapy and eugenics to get its way. The second, somewhat nastier bunch, is a city of dinosaur-descended reptile folk ripped from an alternate universe by the planet itself as a counter. Highlights include these elemental golem...doll...things, and a biocomputer that is an embodiment of all the local magical elements and happens to be a dragon with some sort of jewel laser mouth cannon. Oh, and after an apocalyptic battle with the first bunch, the biocomputer was fractured into seven dragon gods; three in one universe, three in another, and the seventh set adrift to screw around with main characters.
All this nuttiness is compounded by nobody bothering to explain this crap until the two final dungeons of the game! This was right when Square was in the middle of there hipster-esque "minimal explanation means maximum profundity" phase.
This is only two examples out of the many, many RPGs out there.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not some dullard that only goes for smash-and-grab, screw-the-plot antics. I love having complex stories and interesting backgrounds. There's a reason I own stuff like Tactics Ogre, Atelier Iris 1-3 (not at straightforward as they seem, trust me), multiple SaGa games, and so on and so on. But sometimes, I really don't get why game writers seem to come up with stuff that requires enough hits to buzz a Grateful Dead concert to actually figure out.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find something uncomplicated to do for a while.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Random Stupid Campaign Idea
So I was having my usual midnight brainbarf random though session and came up with an idea for a game campaign.
The concept revolves around friggin' tooth fairies. The characters are freshly sparkled dentition feys. Whether or not they are actual fairies spliced into d20 modern (or equivalent) or we come up with Borrowers-style antics are irrelevant. The campaign would be more-or-less mission-based, with two primary variants.
The first one would be nabbing kid's teeth and exchanging them for the usual reward. Random ninja-like antics would ensue, making stealth and/or pickpocket checks so you can make the snatch with waking the kids or the parents. More sociopathic (read: most) players would probable come up with crazy-ass schemes involving pliers and keeping the dough. Curbing such tendencies is optional, but child abuse should be met with the usual GM bullshit against freaks anyway.
The second variant would be the various horrible schemes to get the damn quarters to begin with. Relatively pedestrian stuff like raiding soda machines to holding up rest stops, maybe culminating in a climactic Death Star run on an armored car at Six Flags.
The endgame would involve revealing why we need all the teeth: The Dread Lord Bunny of Esternia is about to return, and his only weakness is stuff voluntarily removed from a child's skull for monetary gain. Preferably lauched at high velocity from a 12-gauge. Failure would mean the fairy people must toil for eternity mining for mineral eggs. One internet for guessing where I stole this part of the concept from.
All sorts of looney shit could be tossed in, like factions of tooth fairies competing for the most teeth. Wackjob mad dentists capturing characters for demented purposes like Cthulu-esque rituals to invoke the Dread Lord Bunny. Some asshole seeing through the masquerade and dissolving random schmucks to make pixie sticks. Horrible, horrible Tinker Bell-themed nightclubs.
Anyway, this is what was percolating in my head tonight.
The concept revolves around friggin' tooth fairies. The characters are freshly sparkled dentition feys. Whether or not they are actual fairies spliced into d20 modern (or equivalent) or we come up with Borrowers-style antics are irrelevant. The campaign would be more-or-less mission-based, with two primary variants.
The first one would be nabbing kid's teeth and exchanging them for the usual reward. Random ninja-like antics would ensue, making stealth and/or pickpocket checks so you can make the snatch with waking the kids or the parents. More sociopathic (read: most) players would probable come up with crazy-ass schemes involving pliers and keeping the dough. Curbing such tendencies is optional, but child abuse should be met with the usual GM bullshit against freaks anyway.
The second variant would be the various horrible schemes to get the damn quarters to begin with. Relatively pedestrian stuff like raiding soda machines to holding up rest stops, maybe culminating in a climactic Death Star run on an armored car at Six Flags.
The endgame would involve revealing why we need all the teeth: The Dread Lord Bunny of Esternia is about to return, and his only weakness is stuff voluntarily removed from a child's skull for monetary gain. Preferably lauched at high velocity from a 12-gauge. Failure would mean the fairy people must toil for eternity mining for mineral eggs. One internet for guessing where I stole this part of the concept from.
All sorts of looney shit could be tossed in, like factions of tooth fairies competing for the most teeth. Wackjob mad dentists capturing characters for demented purposes like Cthulu-esque rituals to invoke the Dread Lord Bunny. Some asshole seeing through the masquerade and dissolving random schmucks to make pixie sticks. Horrible, horrible Tinker Bell-themed nightclubs.
Anyway, this is what was percolating in my head tonight.
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