Clear your browser cache, dumbass.
Anyway, been tearing about with the new tanks in WoT. Came up with a funny concept.
Battlebrix, new from Hasbro. Look in wonder as mighty heroes and vile villains struggle to reach speeds of THREE! Gaze in awe while they pour milk on fresh fired shells and proceed to munch! Behold in reverence as they throw tracks like a boss!
We could have special sets like the Churchill Brothers that guzzle tea and be all stiff upper lipped. The Mighty TOG that has special steamtroller powers. Make them mooks go squish! These guys could even have limited runs painted in blue and including free jelly babies.
Then things like D.W. that delivers pain in 30 minutes or less or your money back! King Tiger, the first tank to attend a Furcon!
Hell even E6-X, with its supreme scare-the-locust-shitless powers.
Battlebrix! Buy them today and watch them squash evil...eventually!
Friday, August 29, 2014
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Wreckonomics -- SaGa Frontier 2
That Skyrim is a pretty cool guy. Eh kills Thalmors and doesn't afraid of anything.
Yes old meme is old, but I don't care.
Anyway, welcome to a very overdue Wreckonomics article! Today we're covering SaGa Frontier 2.
SaGa Frontier 2 is copyright/trademark Square Enix. All mentions, discussions and shenanigans are for review purposes only.
Ah, SaGa games. One of the delightfully wacky RPGs series from that epicenter of eccentricity known as Japan. Unfortunately, this series let its quirks completely overwhelm everything else and is effectively dead, especially outside of Japan itself. This particular installment has just enough quirk to have, well, character. The combat is your usual turn-based monster mashing, centering around skills called "arts." These arts come in three basic flavors, Weapon Arts that allow you to deal damage in flashy ways, Spell Arts that do magic stuff in flashy ways, and Hybrid arts that do extra flashy things to the poor monsters.
The monsters themselves are mostly well-done, with just enough whimsy and animated tones without looking like something that crappy cartoon villains toss out in dozens to be wrecked by spunky teenagers. Though to be fair, they do get wrecked by the dozen by spunky teenagers... That said, they typically pose a good challenge, requiring a decent amount of strategy.
The story is split into two simultaneous parts. The first part is the one highlighted by everyone, a unusual mix of politics from something like the Holy Roman Empire's formation and the plot from the Darksword Trilogy. If you don't believe me, Google both while you play this thing and you'll see exactly what I'm saying. It's actually fairly interesting, but unfortunately gets bogged down and confused in Square's signature "silence means profound" storytelling strategy, leaving us with the second storyline, the usual "dudes go out to get rich, wind up saving the world from certain doom" that's done to death ten years prior, but with interesting twist of following three generations of adventurers. There are some losses, some victories, and in the end, a horrible abomination dies in an appropriately flashy fashion. If you're me, usually from getting whacked with a stick.
Theoretically Unlimited Wealth: Yes, but with severe barriers. Encounters are quasi-fixed, and respawn upon leaving and entering zones.
Limitations: Hoo boy. First and foremost, you have two currencies to deal with. Crowns (shortened to CR in-game) act as the traditional gold pieces for use in shops. You start with a decent amount (typically 1000) for each storyline, but earning more is extremely slow and difficult, especially starting off. This is exacerbated by gold farming being viable in only two dungeons, and the drops are so low as to be painful. The second currency is Chips; the primary way to get those is to break your gear.
Oh yeah, this game has breakable equipment, actually semi-justified. Magic is so prevalent in the game world that melee weapons made of wood and stone are actually quite effective. The downside is that the vast majority of weapons wear down upon use, and upon breaking yield Chips. Chips have a good amount of uses, primarily to be cashed in for CR (the more you can cash in a given time, the better a rate you get too), and for special "custom" weapons and items. Chips are also shared by all parties in the game (unlike CR), as does the inventory.
This inventory, unfortunately, is actually fairy limited in space, egregiously so for a JRPG with a random drop system in place. A streak of good luck can actually result in things like a choosing what to throw out.
The final blow to the shinies is both the least important and the most infuriating. This game actually came with a mini-game for the Pocketstation that would regularly yield all sorts of goodies, including some the best stuff in the game. The problem being that Pocketstation was never released outside of Japan and your average schmoe couldn't get one without ridiculous amounts of time and money. You can tell the loot system is balanced to account for a regular influx of items, but since you don't get that influx, things just sort of plod along. Total bullcrap.
Gas Pedals: Really, there isn't much to be had. Gold farming is tedious, even by JRPG standards. The best farming strategy for gold drops is to hunt for Ghouls and Ghoulas (local zombie equivalents) in either Hahn Nova (thankfully a starter dungeon) or the Ghoul tower (a revisitable optional dungeon). Be advised that the drops are pretty damn low, and you have to bring either steel or Quell (local artifact equivalent) equipment if you want to spend any prolonged time doing this.
A much better option exists, however: The Frito-Lay Factory. This relies upon deliberately breaking gear for Chips. The game has a habit of constantly throwing low-level weapons plus "trinkets," magical accessories that can be used to either fuel basic Spell Arts (one type of trinket for each magic type) with limited charges, or to enable higher level Spell Arts without using charges (bassackwards, I know). Advanced Spell Arts merely require access to the magic type on the user's person. Take all these little disposable bits and use 'em up! the best place to do this is the Vogelang Desert, with has a town with a free inn, a shop you can buy the usual stuff, turn in Chips for CR, and have custom tools made. To sweeten the deal, there is also a vendor after the first visit that can directly trade any non-steel, non-Quell item (including most armor) for it's Chip Value right then and there. The other real advantage is that just about any party can go there between story chapters, whether it makes sense or not. All this serves to both hand you all the Chips you need and clean out your inventory space. Oh, and your party gets a good bit of training out of using up all those bits on the mostly hapless monster population.
By way of closing, a question. Who in their right mind is going to hand out magic crystal bits for a hat or a pair of work gloves? These vendors are crazier than normal...
Yes old meme is old, but I don't care.
Anyway, welcome to a very overdue Wreckonomics article! Today we're covering SaGa Frontier 2.
SaGa Frontier 2 is copyright/trademark Square Enix. All mentions, discussions and shenanigans are for review purposes only.
Ah, SaGa games. One of the delightfully wacky RPGs series from that epicenter of eccentricity known as Japan. Unfortunately, this series let its quirks completely overwhelm everything else and is effectively dead, especially outside of Japan itself. This particular installment has just enough quirk to have, well, character. The combat is your usual turn-based monster mashing, centering around skills called "arts." These arts come in three basic flavors, Weapon Arts that allow you to deal damage in flashy ways, Spell Arts that do magic stuff in flashy ways, and Hybrid arts that do extra flashy things to the poor monsters.
The monsters themselves are mostly well-done, with just enough whimsy and animated tones without looking like something that crappy cartoon villains toss out in dozens to be wrecked by spunky teenagers. Though to be fair, they do get wrecked by the dozen by spunky teenagers... That said, they typically pose a good challenge, requiring a decent amount of strategy.
The story is split into two simultaneous parts. The first part is the one highlighted by everyone, a unusual mix of politics from something like the Holy Roman Empire's formation and the plot from the Darksword Trilogy. If you don't believe me, Google both while you play this thing and you'll see exactly what I'm saying. It's actually fairly interesting, but unfortunately gets bogged down and confused in Square's signature "silence means profound" storytelling strategy, leaving us with the second storyline, the usual "dudes go out to get rich, wind up saving the world from certain doom" that's done to death ten years prior, but with interesting twist of following three generations of adventurers. There are some losses, some victories, and in the end, a horrible abomination dies in an appropriately flashy fashion. If you're me, usually from getting whacked with a stick.
Theoretically Unlimited Wealth: Yes, but with severe barriers. Encounters are quasi-fixed, and respawn upon leaving and entering zones.
Limitations: Hoo boy. First and foremost, you have two currencies to deal with. Crowns (shortened to CR in-game) act as the traditional gold pieces for use in shops. You start with a decent amount (typically 1000) for each storyline, but earning more is extremely slow and difficult, especially starting off. This is exacerbated by gold farming being viable in only two dungeons, and the drops are so low as to be painful. The second currency is Chips; the primary way to get those is to break your gear.
Oh yeah, this game has breakable equipment, actually semi-justified. Magic is so prevalent in the game world that melee weapons made of wood and stone are actually quite effective. The downside is that the vast majority of weapons wear down upon use, and upon breaking yield Chips. Chips have a good amount of uses, primarily to be cashed in for CR (the more you can cash in a given time, the better a rate you get too), and for special "custom" weapons and items. Chips are also shared by all parties in the game (unlike CR), as does the inventory.
This inventory, unfortunately, is actually fairy limited in space, egregiously so for a JRPG with a random drop system in place. A streak of good luck can actually result in things like a choosing what to throw out.
The final blow to the shinies is both the least important and the most infuriating. This game actually came with a mini-game for the Pocketstation that would regularly yield all sorts of goodies, including some the best stuff in the game. The problem being that Pocketstation was never released outside of Japan and your average schmoe couldn't get one without ridiculous amounts of time and money. You can tell the loot system is balanced to account for a regular influx of items, but since you don't get that influx, things just sort of plod along. Total bullcrap.
Gas Pedals: Really, there isn't much to be had. Gold farming is tedious, even by JRPG standards. The best farming strategy for gold drops is to hunt for Ghouls and Ghoulas (local zombie equivalents) in either Hahn Nova (thankfully a starter dungeon) or the Ghoul tower (a revisitable optional dungeon). Be advised that the drops are pretty damn low, and you have to bring either steel or Quell (local artifact equivalent) equipment if you want to spend any prolonged time doing this.
A much better option exists, however: The Frito-Lay Factory. This relies upon deliberately breaking gear for Chips. The game has a habit of constantly throwing low-level weapons plus "trinkets," magical accessories that can be used to either fuel basic Spell Arts (one type of trinket for each magic type) with limited charges, or to enable higher level Spell Arts without using charges (bassackwards, I know). Advanced Spell Arts merely require access to the magic type on the user's person. Take all these little disposable bits and use 'em up! the best place to do this is the Vogelang Desert, with has a town with a free inn, a shop you can buy the usual stuff, turn in Chips for CR, and have custom tools made. To sweeten the deal, there is also a vendor after the first visit that can directly trade any non-steel, non-Quell item (including most armor) for it's Chip Value right then and there. The other real advantage is that just about any party can go there between story chapters, whether it makes sense or not. All this serves to both hand you all the Chips you need and clean out your inventory space. Oh, and your party gets a good bit of training out of using up all those bits on the mostly hapless monster population.
By way of closing, a question. Who in their right mind is going to hand out magic crystal bits for a hat or a pair of work gloves? These vendors are crazier than normal...
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Invisible TOGs Rule The Base
Today I learned that you can ram people in World of Tanks and go undetected. Pretty sure it was a glitch, but either way I know that someone out there on the webernets wound up with a severe case of OMGWTFBBQ syndrome. Oh, and the 10.5mm German death cannon is still really great at making enemy tanks disappear in a puff of awesome.
In more Skyrim news, Legate Wulfe the Unhinged is still tearing about, making the forces of badness wish for their mamas. Many Falmer have had close encounters with Tard Basher, my new custom Dwarven Mace of Energizing. I've also acquired Nightingale equipment, and those weapons are really great at trolling things that annoy me. The bow in particular is really great at killing dragons and allowing me to be all Shang Tsung of the Vikings.
I'm currently planning to finally getting back to Dawnguard, smacking vampires and quoting Castlevania. I'm really looking forward to the Divine Orbital Strike known as Auriel's Bow, combining that with Dawnbreaker to mow through the most undead seen this side of Plants Vs. Zombies. Oh, and battle trolls. I really need to see that in action. "Bleh I'm all bloodsucky and emo!" KRUMP! "Blarg I'm a battle yeti, U Mad Bro?"
In more Skyrim news, Legate Wulfe the Unhinged is still tearing about, making the forces of badness wish for their mamas. Many Falmer have had close encounters with Tard Basher, my new custom Dwarven Mace of Energizing. I've also acquired Nightingale equipment, and those weapons are really great at trolling things that annoy me. The bow in particular is really great at killing dragons and allowing me to be all Shang Tsung of the Vikings.
I'm currently planning to finally getting back to Dawnguard, smacking vampires and quoting Castlevania. I'm really looking forward to the Divine Orbital Strike known as Auriel's Bow, combining that with Dawnbreaker to mow through the most undead seen this side of Plants Vs. Zombies. Oh, and battle trolls. I really need to see that in action. "Bleh I'm all bloodsucky and emo!" KRUMP! "Blarg I'm a battle yeti, U Mad Bro?"
Friday, August 22, 2014
Ahab, Eat Your Heart Out
Things are coming around in their usual schizophrenic manner, but nicely for once.
Been tearing about like a lunatic in World of Tanks some more. The TOGII* is still a frickin' hilarious bundle of death. A buddy and I tore about and actually outmaneuvered people in these things, unleashing all sorts of lulzy doom. Some highlights:
Actually managing to snipe British AT tanks and making them go boom.
Sidescraping a StuG III up against a wall, leaving it a sitting duck for our guns.
Letting some lights circle us and pretend it was going to work and being all "lol no" and making them go pop.
Also tried out the M7 tonight, realizing that there are very good reasons this thing never saw any action at all. Damn thing just doesn't have what it takes. Plus it has a badonkadonk. Tanks should not have badonkadonks, dammit!
More randomness is forthcoming; too tired to write much right now.
Been tearing about like a lunatic in World of Tanks some more. The TOGII* is still a frickin' hilarious bundle of death. A buddy and I tore about and actually outmaneuvered people in these things, unleashing all sorts of lulzy doom. Some highlights:
Actually managing to snipe British AT tanks and making them go boom.
Sidescraping a StuG III up against a wall, leaving it a sitting duck for our guns.
Letting some lights circle us and pretend it was going to work and being all "lol no" and making them go pop.
Also tried out the M7 tonight, realizing that there are very good reasons this thing never saw any action at all. Damn thing just doesn't have what it takes. Plus it has a badonkadonk. Tanks should not have badonkadonks, dammit!
More randomness is forthcoming; too tired to write much right now.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
The DW 2
After extensive research and much exploding, I have come up with an appropriate appellation for the tank in WoT officially known as the Durchbruchswagen 2. It shall be henceforth known as the Pizza Box.
The reasons for this are quite simple. Its armor is made out of high-quality cardboard, and it is well suited for keeping the tankman sausage bits inside nice and toasty when somebody gives it an angry look.
So let it be written.
In other nerdy news, Legate Wulfe the Unhinged is still happily tearing about the countryside. I'm now expecting a Google search for Draugr to come up with some damn bands; you can't tell me that fighting undead Vikings that can shout Force Push and shoot lightning isn't totally fucking metal. This is pretty much Manowar the Video Game.
The whole civil war baloney is total crap, however. Maybe if some RTS looney made a hack for Total War with the Elder Scrolls it would be done justice. Lobbing random mooks and redshirts in platoon-sized units (at most) with starter-level gear and no real 'boss' dudes up against a PC that usually combines CQC prowess, magical shenanigans, and frickin' Force Powers does not an epic war make. The politics and background are interesting, the whole semi-Risk capture the hold thing is nice, but the damn nitty-gritty can be mechanically replicated by a lawnmower simulation. Go here, mow some bermudagrass. Go there, tell the boss the bermudagrass is looking kinda shaggy, mow that. Go there, chase some gophers off, mow more bermudagrass. Go way over there, mow some more damn bermudagrass and shank the dumbass peddling bags of bermudagrass seed. Now the fescue empire shall rule over all!
Watching a dragon be all "I'm all scaly and immortal! Suck it bitches!" at the College of Winterhold was frickin' funny, though. It was like watching...hell, a random dumbass of your own choosing run up to a pack of Sith Lords and dropping their pants. Hilarious, but lightning bolts are not comfortable there.
The reasons for this are quite simple. Its armor is made out of high-quality cardboard, and it is well suited for keeping the tankman sausage bits inside nice and toasty when somebody gives it an angry look.
So let it be written.
In other nerdy news, Legate Wulfe the Unhinged is still happily tearing about the countryside. I'm now expecting a Google search for Draugr to come up with some damn bands; you can't tell me that fighting undead Vikings that can shout Force Push and shoot lightning isn't totally fucking metal. This is pretty much Manowar the Video Game.
The whole civil war baloney is total crap, however. Maybe if some RTS looney made a hack for Total War with the Elder Scrolls it would be done justice. Lobbing random mooks and redshirts in platoon-sized units (at most) with starter-level gear and no real 'boss' dudes up against a PC that usually combines CQC prowess, magical shenanigans, and frickin' Force Powers does not an epic war make. The politics and background are interesting, the whole semi-Risk capture the hold thing is nice, but the damn nitty-gritty can be mechanically replicated by a lawnmower simulation. Go here, mow some bermudagrass. Go there, tell the boss the bermudagrass is looking kinda shaggy, mow that. Go there, chase some gophers off, mow more bermudagrass. Go way over there, mow some more damn bermudagrass and shank the dumbass peddling bags of bermudagrass seed. Now the fescue empire shall rule over all!
Watching a dragon be all "I'm all scaly and immortal! Suck it bitches!" at the College of Winterhold was frickin' funny, though. It was like watching...hell, a random dumbass of your own choosing run up to a pack of Sith Lords and dropping their pants. Hilarious, but lightning bolts are not comfortable there.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Chihuahua Pit Fights
They are bad, and you should feel bad for laughing at them. Unless the losers wind up at the Chinese place down the road; then they're economically useful.
Been tearing about on World of Tanks some more. Things took a turn for the zany with the August Tank-contest thingy. Everybody got a free light tank. It goes zip-zip-boom, no real surprise there. Since we all got it, we all took it for a spin and wound up in matches with 20-odd of these things, which quickly devolved into some sort of hardcore bumper car deathmatch of terror, not unlike Star Wars Demolition from back in the day. Much screaming of random obscenities and "AH'M INSAAANE!" ensued.
In other news, Skyrim is going on rather well. Halls now resonate with tales of Legate Wulfe the Unhinged, Stabber of Trolls and Violent Advocate of Literacy and Shiny Things. The Stormcloak heretics quake in fear that this terror will find them and introduce them to spontaneous combustion while screaming about spine tinglers and how Rarity is best (canon) pony.
In slightly more serious news, I came up with a concept that I'll likely babble about shortly. Before then, everybody out there think happy thoughts like how some dumbass parked his tank on a ferryboat and wound up with a Luchs to the face. That is still hilarious.
Been tearing about on World of Tanks some more. Things took a turn for the zany with the August Tank-contest thingy. Everybody got a free light tank. It goes zip-zip-boom, no real surprise there. Since we all got it, we all took it for a spin and wound up in matches with 20-odd of these things, which quickly devolved into some sort of hardcore bumper car deathmatch of terror, not unlike Star Wars Demolition from back in the day. Much screaming of random obscenities and "AH'M INSAAANE!" ensued.
In other news, Skyrim is going on rather well. Halls now resonate with tales of Legate Wulfe the Unhinged, Stabber of Trolls and Violent Advocate of Literacy and Shiny Things. The Stormcloak heretics quake in fear that this terror will find them and introduce them to spontaneous combustion while screaming about spine tinglers and how Rarity is best (canon) pony.
In slightly more serious news, I came up with a concept that I'll likely babble about shortly. Before then, everybody out there think happy thoughts like how some dumbass parked his tank on a ferryboat and wound up with a Luchs to the face. That is still hilarious.
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