I Get Sweet Swag

And all I'm doing is playing with the coffee cup that stirs stuff by itself.  Whirr...

Honestly, I went out of my to not ask for much, but everybody got offended that I asked for things that we're games and movies and stuff.  Go figure.  Wound up making a second list because of it.

But anyway, the more things change, the more they stay the same indeed.  Today, I wound up with something that I plan to treasure properly this time: a working copy of Final Fantasy Legend II.

This, this, was the game that sparked everything for me.  I was 12 or 13, maybe even younger.  I had played the hell out of Mario and early Zelda and other stuff, and somebody let me borrow a copy of this weird little game, it had numbers and static combat screens and incredibly boring overworld maps and stuff, stuff that most kids turned up their noses at.  But it got plugged into the old grey brick and the magic happened.

It had a little of everything.  You could make a party of four from humans, mutants (updated later to espers, but still just JRPG-flavored elves), robots(!), and monsters (Protip:  one human, one mutant, one robot, and one monster for maximum awesomeness).  You got to tear around use all sorts of weapons and slaughter a ridiculous amount of mooks and monsters.  You could seriously equip a damn tank and fight gods with it.  Pick a pantheon, by the way.  Chances are good you fought a member of it at some point.  You got to hear some the best stuff to ever be pumped out of a Game Boy's speakers ever.  This game was Kenji Ito's first big break (yes, that Kenji Ito), and it shows.  It even had serious longevity and world-building.  It had all sorts of worlds and dungeons to explore.  Granted, the GB-level limitations and old-school tilesets made things kinda samey, but everything managed to have a bit of a different flavor anyway.  I seriously can just keep fanboying and expounding for a least a few more paragraphs.

Yes, I know this actually SaGa 2, and all the inherent problems that SaGa games have are very much present.  But it was and is still very much old-school JRPG awesomesauce.  It triggered my nerdy specialty, and even now I focus on them numbers and the party-building and all that good stuff.  It would lead into Final Fantasy VI, RoboTrek, Chrono Trigger, and these would cement a special basement-shaped place into my nerdy li'l heart.

But now, it is confession time.  I loved this game all to pieces, and played the snot out of it--but I never manged to beat the game without cheating.  I could tear my way all the way to the final boss, but the damn thing kicked my ass constantly and consistently.  It would take three years later and a Game Genie to be able to actually see the end credits and put the game to bed.  It's one of those dumb little things that shouldn't be nagging me (even using the GG didn't erase the challenge, just gave me the fighting chance I needed), especially since I was kinda, y'know, a kid.  But it quietly stayed in the back of my head for a long time now.  I can claim all sorts of JRPGs on my Kill list, and all of them without cheat codes or hacks or anything.  But this one stayed on the Cheat list.

But here I am now, twenty years later, and the time is nigh.  I plugged it into my GBA, flipped the switch, and it all came back to me.  I very much recognize that it's an incredibly childish thing to get all riled up over, but there it is.  No longer am I the little asthmatic fresh from beating Mario Land 2 the umpteenth time; I am Wulfe Luer, the guy who could beat Wiegraf in Final Fantasy Tactics without super grinding or cheating (Protip:  the much-maligned Lancer class is the key to making him your bitch).  I am Wulfe Luer, that tore through all sorts of RPG-flavored insanity and asked for more.  And I will.  Not.  Be.  Denied!

There it is.  It has all come full circle now.  I'm a grown-ass man, with a full-time job, grown-ass bills, and other grown-ass problems, and I'm getting agitated over a 20-year old Game Boy game.  It's hilarious.  Hello, Dork Side, I've missed you.

The time is come, and I shall use all the (legit) method at my disposal, and soon, the Harvest shall be visited upon the pixellated forces of badness once again.  Arsenal, your end is nigh!