HaHA! You still have not been rid of me!
I've been busily unleashing the harvest in Tales of Legendia. It's given me the chance to scratch that JRPG itch I've had going since I wound up with a HaloBox (of course, for me its more of a BorderlandsBox). The ride thus far has been pretty fun, though admittedly I can't seem to binge on it like I used to. Maybe I'm growing up.
Nah. It's probably just too much caffeine. Which is crap, since coffee for me is like dakka for orks. NEVAH ENUFF!!!
This game has brought out my bad habit of screaming advice at the screen, however. Then somebody gets dope slapped, and I am appeased. "Grow a synapse, dammit!!" *bonk* "Thank you, Will!" If that has actually happened in Star Ocean 4, preferably to that blasted fluffbrain Sarah, I would have loved that game a lot more. It took Space Elf Robocop to redeem that character line-up, I can tell you.
Anyway, what is with Japanese games and angst? I know life isn't all sunshine and rainbows and ponies. Well, maybe it is if you're a pony. But they seem to just love piling on the emo, I swear. At least I know that everybody will be mostly well-adjusted or dead by the time the game is over. Unless your name is Cloud. Damn Advent Children taking a perfectly good badass away from character growth and keeping him an emotional cripple in perpetuity. What we need for that is authentic Bulgarian Miak. Great for trolls.
Well it's time to go back to wrecking monster faces! The harvest begins anew!
Monday, July 20, 2015
Friday, July 10, 2015
Stabbin' Dragons
Been busy at the job business. I'm surrounded by the biggest collection of complexes this side of the internet, I swear.
I've taken advantage of losing my Xbox Live Gold (or rather, they lost my money because it didn't taste right or something) and wailing on the bonus boss in Dragon's Dogma. The critter in question is known as the Ur-Dragon, so named because most players go "UUUURRR," and then "splat!" the first time they come across it. The online version is technically harder, but the only real difference is that it has a ridiculous hit-point pool, and multiple players are wailing on it at any given time. Unfortunately, being the guy who makes the kill is pretty much a crapshoot. You can literally pick and play any strategy game by NIS long enough to beat their bonus bosses, and still have not gotten a kill on this beast in an equivalent amount of time. Play the offline version of the boss to get the achievement, okay?
In any case this game is still very much one of my favorites, and I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to pick up and play again. Definitely a point in its favor, and I hope we see a true sequel, not some bizarro MMO like the interwebs claim.
I've also heard some news that is already ancient now: They're finally going to remake Final Fantasy VII. I'm cautiously excited. FFVII holds a special nerdy place in my nerdy heart (I actually owned the game before I bought a PS1, which is saying a lot) and I hope things actually go well. Unfortunately, my auto-snark button got pushed when I head the words "gritty reboot." Lolwut?
I thought up some ways to make this more "gritty." Here's a random collection, in no particular order:
1) Cait Sith is shanked and replaced by Belkar Bitterleaf.
2) Cloud is voiced by Hugo Weaving.
3) An option for a Mortal Kombat-like blood effect. Imagine Omnislash now with patent pending 3-D Gore-O-Rama!
4) Barret stops talking like Mr. T and acts like (dammit I forgot his name) that black guy from Expendables.
5) Trenchcoats. Public flashing optional.
6) New Game+ option to have Sephiroth shank other characters including, but not limited to: Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Sora, Squall, Face McShooty, Wesley Crusher, Chris Pine!Kirk, and Jar Jar Binks. Also the cast of FFXIII.
7) Fuck it, give everybody guns!
That's about it, really. I also really hope they fix the damn Chocobo racing, though. Preferably with the old shoulder-button cheat still intact.
I've taken advantage of losing my Xbox Live Gold (or rather, they lost my money because it didn't taste right or something) and wailing on the bonus boss in Dragon's Dogma. The critter in question is known as the Ur-Dragon, so named because most players go "UUUURRR," and then "splat!" the first time they come across it. The online version is technically harder, but the only real difference is that it has a ridiculous hit-point pool, and multiple players are wailing on it at any given time. Unfortunately, being the guy who makes the kill is pretty much a crapshoot. You can literally pick and play any strategy game by NIS long enough to beat their bonus bosses, and still have not gotten a kill on this beast in an equivalent amount of time. Play the offline version of the boss to get the achievement, okay?
In any case this game is still very much one of my favorites, and I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to pick up and play again. Definitely a point in its favor, and I hope we see a true sequel, not some bizarro MMO like the interwebs claim.
I've also heard some news that is already ancient now: They're finally going to remake Final Fantasy VII. I'm cautiously excited. FFVII holds a special nerdy place in my nerdy heart (I actually owned the game before I bought a PS1, which is saying a lot) and I hope things actually go well. Unfortunately, my auto-snark button got pushed when I head the words "gritty reboot." Lolwut?
I thought up some ways to make this more "gritty." Here's a random collection, in no particular order:
1) Cait Sith is shanked and replaced by Belkar Bitterleaf.
2) Cloud is voiced by Hugo Weaving.
3) An option for a Mortal Kombat-like blood effect. Imagine Omnislash now with patent pending 3-D Gore-O-Rama!
4) Barret stops talking like Mr. T and acts like (dammit I forgot his name) that black guy from Expendables.
5) Trenchcoats. Public flashing optional.
6) New Game+ option to have Sephiroth shank other characters including, but not limited to: Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Sora, Squall, Face McShooty, Wesley Crusher, Chris Pine!Kirk, and Jar Jar Binks. Also the cast of FFXIII.
7) Fuck it, give everybody guns!
That's about it, really. I also really hope they fix the damn Chocobo racing, though. Preferably with the old shoulder-button cheat still intact.
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