Brain Barf

So here we are again...


Still tearing about in Diablo III.  My Crusader has proven to endure like a boss, vindicating my giving him the name Tankred.  In funnier news, I wound up with a Puzzle Ring that didn't have horrible stats, so now my big grim do-gooder is being followed around by his loyal treasure goblin, Giggles McLootsalot.




A funny glitch happened, too.  I was tearing around a graveyard, laying waste to zombies.  One of the shambling dead got a hilariously funky death animation, where his head and body went in different directions, but the neck remained intact, resulting in a corpse with a neck at least 20-25 feet long slapping up against a wall.  That's right, the Nephalem just kicked the shit out of an undead Mr. Fantastic.




Some quiet insanity has been percolating in my head, mostly with some of the weirder, darker bits, in mind.  Even in a setting grim enough to warrant comparison to 40k (including massive pauldrons as a status symbol), who in their right mind makes a huge boiler room cavern thing full of bones from all sorts of  creatures underneath their city?  That is not how fossil fuel works.  And why?


In less funny, but no less mockery, I read an old issue if Game Informer I had at work.  This was from the glorious period where they had a damn sense of humor, and the funniest geek captions.  One article was about the then-new release of the 360 version of World of Tanks.  The guy writing it gave off this whole vibe of passive-aggressive apathy, whining about how dated the graphics work, but you got a chance to have "nuanced" shootouts.  then he proceeded to prove a complete lack of fact-checking, misspelling the M3 Stuart and referencing a "German UC 2-pdr."  The UC 2-pdr is a British vehicle.  Both of these mistakes were in the same damned sentence.




But hell, the loser snidely stated he didn't care about the historical side at all, despite the simple fact that in-game, there isn't exactly a mountain of lore or even a database to root through.  Almost everything is historically based, but to get more that a short blurb, you have to actually research things in the real world.  Everything he said amounted to what felt like a bizarre hipster-esque complaint that he couldn't have killstreaks and teabaggings, so it didn't belong on consoles at all.  Just not vapid enough for him, I guess.  Thank God that it was not a full review with a score, and that nobody listened anyway, from the way things went for the game afterward.


Oh, and he whined about the kiddies getting on the mikes and using their paltry profanity prowess to cover their immaturity like it was specifically endemic to World of Tanks.  Idiot.




The lesson here, kiddies, is that if you don't like a game, say you don't like it.  There's plenty of games out there I've played and filled with indifference, some with even outright loathing; but I was intelligent about my criticism.  Acting like an egocentric, self-important twit with a spoiled sense of entitlement and "I'm too smart for this crap, my audience is a bunch of morons" simply because you either didn't like something or felt like half-assing a job is something best left in the pits of Facebook and 4chan.    




The sad part is that current GI issues are all pretty much nothing but this...bizarre mess.  It's like a glimpse into an alternate universe were Yahtzee isn't allowed to swear like an angry sailor and stuck doing free-verse at nighttime coffee joints.  All the honest hostility has been replaced with passive-aggressive hipster cattiness.




Not that us Philistines would get what they're whining about.  Also, Philistines were actually a helluva lot more advanced than most people realized, so nyah.